afternoon out

Okay so our family decided that it would be a good idea to go to Smallwoods harvest for the afternoon. For those of you who don't know Smallwoods is a petting zoo with farm animals and a small playground with lots of photo ops. Anyway we pull up and Jillian is all kinds of excited about getting to ride a trike and pet the animals. She had a great time and C3p0 (my son) Thought it was the coolest thing ever! All until we entered the petting zoo portion. We had our little bags of food and there were plenty of eager animals with ruminate stomachers salivating from their smelly cages. Then I saw it! Among all of the split hoofed farm animals in cages roamed free a giant,disgusting, blue waddled TURKEY.
My handsome husband pointed and laughed, he clearly is aware of my extreme dislike for all live poultry. My stepsons walked over to it, one of them pushing the stroller with my beautiful baby boy in it. The Turkey took to them. It walked up and got close when I yelled something along the lines of "KEEP THE CREEPY TURKEY AWAY FROM MY CHILD" They laughed it off and moved the stroller so I could stop hyperventilating.

It must have been their noxious french whoresque cologne what attracted it to them but the damn thing followed the boys around the ENTIRE FREAKING TIME WE WERE THERE! They thought it was funny to follow me around while the Turkey followed them around glaring at me and puffing his feathers up at me. The boys were even able to pet that fowl, vile, obnoxious excuse for an animal.

Jillian was afraid to feel the animals from her hands but threw the food down. Everyone had a great time... Everyone except for me. I felt stalked and harassed and every time I thought that I would be able to relax and just enjoy myself I hear and faint gobbling noise about ten feet away and I had to protect my small children from it.

If I were on my death bed surrounded by friends and family and I had one dying breath to say an sentence it would most like be "KEEP THAT EFFING STUPID AND DEMENTED BIRD AWAY FROM ME!" And then I would die a completely uncomfortable death all because some damn bird that to get up in my BIzNAS! I imagine THERE to be a lot of poultry in hell, and snakes.